Only A Mountain

Another day, another fight. It always feels like an uphill climb. Another step, another mile. The story of your life. It's harder than you ever thought, and it costs you everything you've got when you're back against the wall, and you feel like giving up. This is only a mountain. You don't have to find your way around it. Tell it to move, it'll move. Tell it to fall, it'll fall. This is only a moment. You don't have to let your fear control it. Tell it to move, it'll move. Tell it to fall, it'll fall. You've gotta find a second wind. It's not as high as you think it is. Don't give up and don't you quit. You gotta climb if you wanna win. And I know it looks big, and I know you feel small. But just a little bit of faith can change it all, change it all. This is only a mountain. You don't have to find your way around it. Tell it to move, it'll move. Tell it to fall, it'll fall. This is only a moment. You don't have to let your fear control it. Tell it to move, it'll move. Tell it to fall, it'll fall. Ask like you believe it. Trust like you can see it. Take your fear and say, there's nothing in your way, no. Even when it looks big, even when you feel small - just a little bit of faith can change it all. This is only a mountain. You don't have to find your way around it. Tell it to move, it'll move. Tell it to fall, it'll fall. This is only a moment. You don't have to let your fear control it. Tell it to move, it'll move. Tell it to fall, it'll fall. It's only a mountain. Just a little bit of faith can change it all. (Jason Castro)

There is this hill outside our house. I say "hill" very loosely, because for me, when I'm attempting to go up it, walking even, it feels like a MOUNTAIN! It is long and steep, and IT HURTS. Sometimes it takes everything I have to put one foot in front of the other just to get up it. But I know I have to because my house is on this hill, and there’s no way around it. The mountain must fall before I do… I've tried running it - and so far, NOPE. I've ridden my bike up it, but that was a couple years ago when I was in much better shape than I am now. lol This hill is my mountain, and before I compete in my first Ironman, I will conquer that mountain! It will move. It will fall. It’s only a mountain…

Wait a minute?! Ironman? Did she just say Ironman? As in swim (2.4 miles), bike (112 miles), run (26.2 miles)? 140.6 miles?? THAT Ironman? Oh yes! It’s on. It's become very personal, this hill, and my desire to conquer it. Because I know that when I can run up, yes I did say RUN UP, this hill/mountain 20 times, that I will be ready to complete an Ironman. (For those of you who don't know, my dream, my goal, my heart's desire is to complete an Ironman before my 40th birthday. I turn 39 in April 2013, so I better get moving on this mountain.)

Step back in time 4 years ago, and I had never even thought about doing a triathlon, much less an Ironman. I was happy going about my business and doing my thing. Just going through the motions of life and not really knowing what I was missing. Then life changed. And then I changed. And then, my goals changed. And one fateful day I heard about this thing called a “Sprint Triathlon” and I thought to myself, “I can do that!” Mind you, I hadn’t been physically active in a real sense since high school (at that time, 16 years ago). Sure I had played on the church softball team a couple years, but that didn’t require training like training for a triathlon. A triathlon? Who was I kidding? I was overweight, inactive, and hadn’t swum or ran since high school! And what about a bike? My bike was a mountain bike from Wal-Mart that I hadn’t ridden since I got it.

Well, none of those things stopped me. None of those potential “mountains” stopped me. They only made me more determined to sign up and participate in a triathlon – because I could and because I wanted to. I had something to prove – to myself. While I was training, a friend of mine asked me if I knew about the Sprint at Moraine State Park and suggested that it might be a good “warm-up” for the Sprint I had signed up to do in Pittsburgh. Sure, why not, I thought. It fit into my schedule and it was affordable.

My first Sprint turned out to be a rude awakening and more of a mountain than I expected. It also began my triathlon journey and I will forever be grateful that I did it. The swim was an easy 300 yards. What I wasn’t expecting was the mosh pit in the water! lol All those bodies and arms & legs thrashing everywhere! YIKES!!! Then the bike. Oh the bike... I thought that the 7 miles would be easy, and perhaps on the paved trails I had been training on. I couldn’t have been more wrong! It was 7 miles of nothing but hills – steep hills (mountains)… Brutal hills that took everything I had to stay on my (Wal-Mart mountain) bike and not get off and walk (which I did, even though I didn't want to and tried with everything I had in me not to). I finished the bike and somehow found my legs (and the strength) to tackle the 3.2 miles to finish my first Sprint, and I wasn’t even last! I was hooked. Exhausted, and hooked. My life had changed again. I had just moved a mountain. A big one.

Fast forward 4 years and I have moved several more mountains. I have completed 6 Sprint triathlons and an Olympic triathlon. And now I’m ready to begin training for my Ironman - my biggest (physical) mountain yet. I still ride the same bike from Wal-Mart that I used 4 years ago. I don’t know how to use energy drinks/gels/packs, but I will. I don’t have bike shoes or special grips on my pedals, and I won’t. I wear a Speedo swimsuit, cheap Saucony sneakers, and I still ride my mountain bike. The only difference is now I have road tires instead of mountain bike tires.
Oh yeah, and I have something much bigger and better than anything else – I have faith and desire, and I have family and friends that support me. A husband that tells me I CAN and not only encourages me, but is also my coach and personal trainer. He pushes me harder than anyone else, and when I have reached my limit, he pushes me some more. He knows that I work harder when I’m angry, and that’s usually when I’m chasing after him on the bike. lol

This Ironman of mine is only a mountain. It will move. It will fall. It will be harder than I ever thought, but it’s still only a mountain. And mountains are meant to be conquered… TRI ME.

Right Beside Me

I've seen it and felt it, hopelessness with no lifeline.  The wicked are feeding on innocence and our decline.  You and I we are the same, torn apart by different things.  All our faith is barely alive, but we're going to make it through the night.  I want you to know... when the world is on your back, and you think that you will never last; when you're lonely and you are confused - I'll be right beside you.  When the walls are closing in, and you think you'd rather sink than swim; when you think there's nothing left for you to lose - I'll be right beside you.  I'll be with you.  We are precious.  More than priceless is our worth.  Loved by the Father, Heaven's children here on earth.  You and I we are the same, lifted up above the pain.  By it's wounds we have been healed, and by our love it is revealed.  I want you to know (I need you to know)... when the world is on your back, and you think that you will never last; when you're lonely and you are confused - I'll be right beside you.  When the walls are closing in, and you think you'd rather sink than swim; when there's nothing left for you to lose - I'll be right beside you.  Hold on, don't you let go of me.  I'll be here through it all.  Hold on, when you're ready to fall.  I will carry you.  I will never leave you.  I will lift you if you fall.  When the world is on your back, and you think that you will never last; when you're lonely and you are confused - I'll be right beside you.  When the walls are closing in, and you think you'd rather sink than swim; when there's nothing left for you to lose - I'll be right beside you.  I'll be with you.  I'll be right beside you... (Building 429)

So this wasn't the song I had in mind when I thought about writing again, but it is the one I needed to write about.  Funny how things work that way, you know?  I guess it wasn't really up to me to begin with (not that many times it ever is...)

Along my life's journey (38 years and counting), I've encountered any number of people.  Some have stayed.  Some have left.  Some I never got a chance to know, and wish I would have.  Some I know intimately, and am blessed to share their deepest secrets, desires and dreams.  Some have stuck it out with me since the beginning and don't look like they're leaving anytime soon (crazy, crazy people - lol).  But through it all, there has always been one right beside me that knows more about me than anyone, including my parents or my husband.  I don't think I need to spell it out for you, so I won't.

When I look back, He has always been there.  Good/bad.  Ups/downs.  Funny/sad.  You name it.  His voice is almost always quiet and His presence doesn't always make itself known, but I know He is there.  I don't always talk to Him, but He is always listening.  I don't always acknowledge Him, but He is always there.  He doesn't care how stubborn I am.  Or even how smart (or dumb) I am.  He doesn't care about my social status, my hair (frizzy brown), my weight (a work in progress), how tall (5' 9") or short I am.  He doesn't care about my occupation (Exec. Asst.) or what kind of car (minivan) I drive.  He doesn't care about any of those things.  He just cares about ME.  Tiffany Anne Updegrove.  Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend.  He has seen my darkest days, and He has seen my best days.  He has watched me fail, and He has watched me succeed.  He has picked me up, and He has even carried me on those occasions when I was just to weak to do it on my own.  His love is real and pure.  The most unconditional love there is.  And I am blessed to have it, even though I don't always appreciate it or understand why it's been given to me...

I'm so thankful to have this relationship with Him and wish that all my relationships were so unconditional.  Constant, often quiet, sometimes funny, sometimes bold, but always there.  Never critical, but supportive and uplifting.  No matter what I look like on any given day, or how many mistakes I make, He is there, right beside me.  Usually, His presence is unassuming, but sometimes it's like getting punched in the gut!  Without judgement or criticism.  Just pure, unconditional love.  How humbling is it to think that even though He knows everything there is to know about me, and all the mistakes I have made in my life, He loves me just the way I am and is always right beside me.  He hasn't given up on me.  He won't.  He hasn't quit on me.  He can't.  I am a work in progress.  I am me, and he is right beside me.  Peace.

Strong Enough

The past 3 years have been full of ups and downs for me. I got divorced. I got married. I have 2 amazing daughters, and gained 2 amazing “daughters”. I lost 40 lbs and did 7 Triathlons, from Sprints to an Olympic, individual and team. I found true friends, true strength, and also true love. I found out that people aren’t always what they seem, and as I was reminded tonight (Thank you Superman), that you never really know a person until they become your enemy. Sad, but true.

I also found out that no matter how strong I think I am, I’m not strong enough to do it on my own. There are many things I can do, but even I need help now and then. I’m stubborn as a mule, but I’m also soft as a feather pillow. And underneath it all, I’m not nearly as strong as I lead people to believe, and my faith gets tested. And tested hard! So much so that even I wonder “why?”

I get upset! I hurt! I want to yell and scream! I want to run… and run… and run… I don’t even know where - just away. Thinking that if I run far enough, or long enough, or hard enough, that I will run away from the pain. Run away from my problems. But I can’t. I can’t run away from any of those things. Because running doesn’t take care of any of it! It may help for a brief period while I’m out there, but ultimately, I have to run back – home. Home.

For Christmas this year, our daughter gave us a plaque that said “HOME is where you unpack your heart not your stuff. My gosh, if that didn’t hit the nail on the head! My heart is home and it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. I have never felt as much at “home” as I have in the past 2 ½ years. I have also never felt as scared. I’m scared I’m going to lose it all because there is just so much going on in the background. And every day it’s something new. Something else. How much more can I take? How much more can we take? How much more? How much more God!?!? I can’t take much more! I’m not strong enough! I can’t do this on my own…

Now more than I ever, I need to find my faith. I need to find my strength, and His. I know He’s there. I know He’s always been there. I know that my life is easy compared to others and I don’t understand. How can I not be strong enough? Because I’m not! I’m not strong enough to deal with my children being hurt and used as a tug-of-war rope. I’m not strong enough to deal with the repeated hits over and over again. I’m not strong enough to deal with everything all the time. “No matter how numb your body gets, your mind still feels the pain.” I have reached rock bottom and I am looking up. There are clouds and there is snow. But still, I am looking up… and reaching out. I’m strong enough to do that.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand...

I have unanswered prayers. I have trouble I wish wasn't there. And I have asked a thousand ways that you would take my pain away. That you would take my pain away. I am trying to understand, how to walk this weary land. Make straight the paths that crooked lie Oh Lord, before these feet of mine. Oh Lord, before these feet of mine. When my world is shaking, heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands. When you walked upon the earth, you healed the broken, lost & hurt. I know you hate to see me cry. One day you will set all things right. Yeah, one day you will set all things right. When my world is shaking, heaven stands. When my heart is breaking, I never leave your hands. Your hands that shaped the world are holding me. They are holding me still. "Your Hands" by JJ Heller

I don't know about you, but there is something incredibly special about holding hands with a child - especially when it's your own! When you're walking along talking about the groceries you need to buy, or the things that need done at your house, or at work, or or or... and your child just reaches up and grabs your hand with theirs. Ahhhh. Peace. What a FEELING! What an INCREDIBLE feeling... Everything else fades away for the time being and no matter what else is going on in your world, it is not nearly as important as that moment when your child's hand is holding onto yours. The initial contact. The warmth. The trust. The love. The trust in that small hand that is holding yours. There is truly something to be said about the emotions that are evoked when a child reaches up and holds your hand. It is in that moment that you know that there is someone depending on you, loving you, trusting you and giving you THEIR love - unconditionally. No strings attached. Sometimes there are no words that can express how it feels when your child grabs your hand. Especially when you are having a bad day and nothing in it seems to have gone "your" way. Just that small gesture can make all the pain of the day go away, if only for a short time...

I wonder if that's how God must feel when we reach out to Him and grab His hand? We come to Him often broken with the many burdens of our life. And we reach out to hold His hand because in it we find what we most often need - peace, comfort, love, trust, STRENGTH. We reach out to hold HIS hand because, like children, we like to feel the hands of someone we love, we trust, we NEED. We want to find that security and comfort, too. We want to be a child and hold our Father's hand...

But how many hands can He hold at one time? How many hands does He hold? Does He know which hand is mine? Is there room for one more? Is there room for me??? All those questions. But what you really need to know is... There is room for you. There is always room for you. There will always be room for you. When you are hurting, alone, lost, happy, content, reach out your hand. He wants to hold your hand as much as you want to hold His. Don't be afraid to reach up and hold your Father's hand...

Peace <3

What Faith Can Do

Everybody falls sometimes. Gotta find the strength to rise from the ashes and make a new beginning. Anyone can feel the ache. You think it’s more than you can take. But you are stronger, stronger than you know. Don’t you give up now, the sun will soon be shining. You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining. I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains. Hope that doesn’t ever end even when the sky is falling. And I’ve seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken hearts become brand new. That’s what faith can do. It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, impossible is not a word. It’s just a reason for someone not to try. Everybody’s scared to death when they decide to take that step out on the water. It’ll be alright, life is so much more than just what your eyes are seeing. You will find your way, if you keep believing. I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains. Hope that doesn’t ever end even when the sky is falling. And I’ve seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken hearts become brand new. That’s what faith can do. Overcome the odds. You do have a chance (that’s what faith can do). When the world says you can’t, it’ll tell you that you can! I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains. Hope that doesn’t ever end even when the sky is falling. And I’ve seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken hearts become brand new. That’s what faith can do. Even if you fall sometimes, you will have the strength to rise. (Kutless – “What Faith Can Do”)

I absolutely LOVE this song! I heard it first a few months ago on KLove radio while driving to work. As a new listener to the station, (Thanks Tammy again for introducing me to it), I was anxious to hear what kind of music they were going to play and was NOT DISAPPOINTED!!! I was bored of “mainstream” radio and wasn’t getting anything from it. It didn’t inspire me. Or motivate me. It just didn’t DO anything for me. Don’t get me wrong, there are some songs out there that have that something, but overall, I would much rather listen to music that has substance. Something you can sink your teeth into, if you know what I mean. I am in my car for an hour every morning and an hour every evening. Time is something I have lots of -- then! Lol So I try to use it wisely – well, as wisely as you can while in a car driving in rush hour traffic and always in a hurry to pick up my girls. I pray. I sing. I laugh. I cry. Yes, I even talk on the phone. Sometimes, I just drive… Mostly, I listen to music and reflect on my life and what God has in store for me. I think about the choices I have made, and the choices yet to come. I think about why and why not. I think about how I’m going to get through the night, what to make for dinner, how much laundry there is, and what work needs done around the house. I think about money and my girls. About love and the future. I just think way too much sometimes!

Anyway, when I heard this song, it was one of THOSE mornings. You know them. We all have them. The first set of lyrics just struck me right in the heart. It was like I had just been hit smack center with a wrecking ball and I knew right then and there, that no matter what was going on in my life, how hard I THOUGHT it was, that I would be able to get through it. I have had one heck of a year since my last writing. Life has changed dramatically, to say the least. From a 40 lb. weight loss, to participating in 3 Sprint Triathlons last summer and now training for a regular Triathlon. To losing someone who I thought was my best friend, to finding someone that is so much more than that, and more than I could EVER have dreamed of or hoped for - the love of my life and the love of a lifetime…

I don’t know what I expected last year when I got down on my knees and prayed for “something”. I surely didn’t expect God to do what He did and to change my life the way He has. I guess I should have known better… Believe me, there have and continue to be HUGE potholes in the road and have been for the past year and will be for the rest of my life. That IS life. However, it’s so much easier knowing that there is ALWAYS a bright side to ANY situation and that the strength you need to carry on comes from within… YOU. Isn't that what faith can do...

Peace and love my friends. I've missed you...

Running after You

I hear the voice, it's the voice of the one I love. He's callin' my name. (I hear you calling me Jesus.) I hear the voice, the voice of the one I love. He's calling my name. (Can you hear Him calling?) He's sayin' - "Come up higher, hear the angels sing. Come up higher, my beloved. Come up higher and leave this world behind." You find me to be beautiful. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I found my life. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life. One thing I have desired, this will I seek after, to dwell in Your house forevermore. Now I'm running after the thing that really matters. You've become my joy and song. (You've become my joy and song.) You've become my joy and song. (You've become my joy and song.) You've become my joy and song. Become my joy and song. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life... Here with You I find my life... ("Running" Klaus Kuehn)

So often it seems we are running FROM something, not AFTER anything. We run from things we're afraid of. We run from adversity, from temptation, from each other. It's easy to run away. It's not that easy to run to. It seems like all I've done this past year is run. There have been times I feel as if I've been running FOR my life. Do you know how scary that is? How long can I run? How fast do I have to go? When will I reach the finish line? I don't think I have the strength to make it... Those have just been some of the thoughts in my head. The one thing that has kept me running, though, towards something, is the knowledge I carry with me that He is at the end of every run I've ever been on, or ever will be. Now, instead of wondering how long, or how fast, I think, just another step, just another step. Take your time, there's no hurry, He's waiting for You. No matter how long it takes me to get there. He is waiting and HE CAN WAIT. He knows that I'm running after Him and He can't wait until I get there!

When you're running the race of life, don't think about the finish line, think about who's waiting on the other side... And run to Him. For He is calling your name.

I'll Rise

Out of Your great love, You came down from glory. The Son of God to set me free. And for all my sin You gave yourself on Calvary. You rose so I can live again. And I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life. Though I may walk through the valley of the shadow, I know that You are there with me. And if I lose my way, I know Your hand will guide me. Nothing can take Your love away. And I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life. You're all I need. You are the One who makes my life worth living. Lord, here I am, take all of me. Take all my hopes, take all my dreams that I have held so dearly. Lord, please take it all. And I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me.

As I was sitting in the Good Friday service last night, I gave serious thought to my life up until now. I thought about the things I've done, the people I've met, the choices I've made, and what is yet to come. I thought about Jesus' life, how He lived, how He died, and how those things have affected me. I thought about the times I've turned to Him in prayers of thanksgiving, and in prayers of distress. I thought about the times I've given my life to Him, and how He has changed me. But most importantly, I thought about the sacrifice He made FOR ME and how/what I could do with my life to make his sacrifice worth something. Then I thought of the song above and I knew what I had to do. "I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life." I have to rise above any obstacle because nothing is bigger than His dying on the cross for me. I have to live because His life made mine important. I have to love because no matter how much it hurts sometimes, it's what I do best. He is my life and I need to live my life for and about Him.

This Easter, think about how best to live your life for Him. How can you rise against the things that seem insurmountable? How can you live in a way that honors the one who died for you? How can you love those that don't want to love you in return? Like Jesus. With grace, strength of character, compassion, unconditional love and prayer.

This Easter, rise and choose to live, for He is risen indeed!

I will walk by faith...

Would I believe you when you would say Your hand will guide my every way. Will I receive the words You say every moment of every day. Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see it. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Help me to win my endless fears. You've been so faithful for all my years. With the one breath You make me. Your grace covers all I do. Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see it. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Well I'm broken - but I still see Your face. Well You've spoken - pouring Your words of grace. Well I will walk by faith even when I cannot see. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see it. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Well hallelujah, hallelu. Well hallelujah, hallelu. (I will walk by faith). I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith. I will, I will, I will walk by faith. (Jeremy Camp - "Walk By Faith")"

I will walk by Faith." I wonder if that's what Jesus thought that day riding into Jerusalem on his donkey? Did He truly believe that God's hand would guide him every way and in everything He did? Did He already know what lay before him in the days ahead, or did each day bring something new? As we go through each day, how much do we truly walk by faith? How much do we give up to God above, our Maker and Creator? How much of what we say we've given over to Him have we truly let go of, and let God? I bet not nearly as much as we think... I have tried "walking by faith" this Lenten season. If you recall, several weeks ago, I decided that this Lent, I was going to give myself up to Jesus and be made whole again. I wanted to find out who I was and who I was meant to be before life got in the way with all its trials and tribulations. I decided to give up all the doubts and insecurities in my life and rely fully on God to get me through whatever life could throw in my way. I wanted to walk by faith. Well, I haven't. Not entirely. I'm not ready yet. But, I have made great strides. Each day before I get out of bed, I say a prayer - a prayer of thanksgiving for the day to come, a prayer of thanksgiving for the days that have past, and a prayer for peace and strength to get me through today. Each night before I go to bed, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for getting me through the day, a prayer of thanksgiving for the people in my life, and a prayer for peace and strength to get me through tomorrow. I am trying to walk by faith each and every day. He hasn't failed me yet, even though there are times where I've wondered where He is.

Like this one - this past Wednesday, we had to put down our beloved dog, Ammo. She had been w/us for nearly 13 years (her 13th birthday was today, April 4th). It was completely unexpected. She had been sick for a few years, and had definitely outlasted her prognosis. But, still, when the time came, it wasn't the easiest thing we've ever had to do. To be honest, it was absolutely, completely HORRIBLE! I haven't cried that hard or that much in a long time and I don't want to do it again anytime soon. That night, after it was over, I called my Mom and I told her I was so angry with God. I couldn't believe He had taken her from us and I truly didn't understand why or how He could throw something else at us like losing Ammo on top of everything else. I hadn't given up, but I was tired of fighting for what I believed in, and wondered how broad He thought my shoulders were? There's only so much one person can take and I felt like I had definitely reached my limit! The next day, my mom called during her Bible Study and said she had a scripture for me that came up after she had asked for prayers for our family. I found out later the scripture was Matthew 11: 28-30. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God had heard my cries for help! He knew that I was broken and battered and just wanted to give in and give up! When I was at my lowest, He found a way to remind me that nothing is too much for Him. I will continue to walk by faith, because this broken road does prepare His will for me.

Keep walking, no matter how long or how broken the road is. Keep the faith, for He will never give up on you.

The bar is so high

It's a fear that keeps me wide awake in the middle of the night. When the expectations are too great and the bar gets raised too high. So I do the best with what I've gotand hope that no one knows that I strain to see how high I can. Try to stand on these toes until I'm measured, but You know better. So, thank You, Jesus. Even when You see us just as we are, fragile and frail and so far from who we want to be. So, thank You, Jesus. Even when the pieces are broken and small. Dreams shatter and scatter like the wind. Thank You, even then. So I put aside the masquerade and admit that I am not okay which may not be the thing to say but I'm not ashamed to need You more each day. We raise the standard and try to reach You but we'll never make it, and we don't need to. (Nichole Nordeman - "Even Then")

When I was growing up, I used to go to roller skating every weekend. I went so much, my parents bought me my own skates. I loved those skates! They were white with hot pink wheels & hot pink toe stops. (I had those skates up until just a few years ago when I sold them at a yard sale.) Those skates gave me great memories - especially doing the limbo! I could get pretty low, but never as low as some of the kids that grew up on skates and were 4 and 5 years old. There were some kids that could do full splits underneath that limbo bar, mostly boys! At that time, I judged myself on how well I did based on how LOW the bar was before I fell. I was younger then and a lot more flexible than I am now. Today, I judge myself on how HIGH the bar is before I fail. I have my own expectations of how I should rate as a daughter, mother, wife and friend. As of today, I have never met those expectations, nor will I. I've set my bar too high, but I won't/can't lower it. So, in the meantime, I keep trying and I keep failing. I have expectations of how I should perform in my job, and my boss and co-workers have their expectations. My boss expects me to know every little thing that goes wrong with his computer and how to fix it. I can fix a lot, but I'm not a computer expert. I'm expected to multi-task 15 different things at once and keep them all straight and get them done at the same time. I do well enough, but my bar has been set so high that sometimes it's impossible to meet.

So what happens when I realize that no matter how hard I try, no matter how tall I stretch on my tiptoes, I'll never be quite high enough? That I'll never be good enough to reach that bar? What happens then? What happens when I fail? What happens when I'm broken and shattered and there's nothing left? That's when Jesus comes in. That's when I get down on my knees and pray for His mercy. And that's when He reaches out and wraps His arms around me and I know that no matter how high MY bar is, His will never be too high for me.

How high is your bar?

Make Me Over

I've been silent instead of speaking up. Gave my advice instead of giving love. I have been unfair, faithless and unkind. I have shut my eyes just so I would stay blind. It's not what I meant to do, cause I wanna honor you. Make me over, make me new. Make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart. Take me to your heart and pull me closer. Oh, Jesus, make me over. Take away the pride that whispers in the dark. Take the stone out of the middle of my heart. Hidden underneath my insecurities is the servant that you've destined me to be. But day after precious day I get in my own way. Make me over, make me new. Make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart. Take me to your heart and pull me closer. Sweet savior, make me over. I am only made of your imagining. I'm dust and clay on the wind. Wash me in the river of your sacrifice until I'm changed, purified. Take me all apart. Take me to your heart and pull me closer. My Jesus, make me over. Make me over. (Natalie Grant - "Make Me Over")

This Lent, I have decided to give up myself to Jesus and to be made whole again. To find out who I am and who I was meant to be before life got in the way with all its trials and tribulations. I have decided to give up all the doubts and insecurities in my life and rely fully on God to get me through whatever life can throw in my way. I have also decided to make my body over - inside and out. I had gotten away from working out because I just wasn't seeing the results I wanted in the time I wanted. Well, I'm back at it and I'm feeling great! I'm still worried about the results on the outside, but I'm trying to focus on the feelings inside first. Each day, when I work out, I repeat to myself - "You can do it. You are strong. Lean machine!" My goal is to be a "lean machine" when I turn 35 in April. My other goal is to have freed myself from the things inside of me that are trying to break me down. Each day when I get up, I have a choice - to get through the day with grace and compassion, or to be a victim and let my feelings bring me down. I have good days and bad days. I don't always make the right choice, and even when I do, there are outside forces at work that come in and destroy my good intentions. The best thing I've found through that is is that Jesus has my back. When I'm having a really bad day, someone sends me an e-mail, or gives me a call to let me know they're thinking about me. How cool is that!?! He is with me (and you) all the time! He has shown himself to me so much in these past months, I couldn't even begin to tell you. He is continually working to make me over and I can't wait to see the end result! I hope you'll join me in this 40-day journey and ask Him to make you over as well for whatever it is in your heart that is bringing you down.

Dear God, I give myself to You each and every day. Make me over, make me new. I give You my life and in Your hands I know that I am and forever will be Yours. In the darkest of times, You are with me. In the brightest of times, you are with me. You are my light and my salvation and I honor You with all that I have and all that I am inside. Give me peace, give me strength. Give me the courage to get through each day with You by my side and to do it in the best way I can. You alone know who I truly am and who I was meant to be. Help me to be that person each and every day no matter what life throws at me. I love you and I give myself to you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Come to my Rescue

Lord You know everything I've done. Every thought I've had, You know every one. And Lord You know every time I fall. Still You come to my rescue when I call. Lord You hear every idle word. Every thoughtless deed, how it seems absurd. That Lord You give, not what I am due, but mercy; You come to my rescue.You come to my rescue, rescue. Lord You care and You've become my friend. Amazing love whose boundaries have no end. And Lord You show what a greater love can do, by being there for my rescue. And Lord I give all I can give (all my heart). All of my heart as long as I shall live. So Lord, oh Lord, I just want to thank You, for coming, coming to my rescue. You come to my rescue, rescue. It's hard to tell You just how grateful I am, but I'm still gonna make it show; with every breath gonna let You know. I am accepting though I can't comprehend, how I could be worth the cost, when I was bound, despised and lost. Lord I give all I can give (all my heart). All of my heart as long as I shall live. So Lord, oh Lord, I just want to thank You (I really want to thank you), for coming, for coming to my rescue. You come to my rescue, rescue. He is always there for me (rescue, rescue). And he'll be right, right there for you (rescue, rescue). Oh Lord I know I don't deserve it (rescue, rescue). But you love me anyhow (rescue, rescue). You come to my rescue (rescue, rescue). Keep on coming to my rescue (rescue, rescue). (ACappella - "Rescue")

As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along w/all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been! My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and scarcity, and false accusations that took me from my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to the ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."

Thank you Phyllis for giving me this beautiful story last week in church! When I read it, I started to cry. (What else is new?) And when I found out that this week's service was about "Healing", this story couldn't have been more appropriate or come at a better time (remember God's timing is perfect! Even though we don't always think so...). In life, we are given many opportunities, and many challenges. How we handle them doesn't define us. Who we ask for help to get us through, heals us.

May your life be filled with holes... and light.

Timeless

Time, it's changing me. It's hard to see who I am. Touched, I'm touched by many things. So many things I don't understand. But seasons pass and I discover above all this there's another helping me to hold on to what is timeless. So the autumn can color me gold, and the winter can dress me in snow. But it's You I see - the timeless part of me. In the springtime I'm young once again. In the summer I dance on the wind. But it's You I see - the timeless part of me. Change, whether it's good or bad. You know I'm glad You're in control. Oh, Lord, if I don't understand, I know Your hand will shield my soul. Seasons pass and I discover above all this there's another helping me to hold on to what is timeless. ("Timeless" by Selah)

In thinking about what song for this week, I didn't have a clue what song to use. I typed some keywords into Google, but nothing jumped out at me. It wasn't until I was throwing clothes in the laundry that I thought of this song by Selah. Timeless. God's timing is perfect, even if ours isn't. I should know. For several months now, all I've though about is time. I count every second, every minute, every hour until the next day comes. Is it time to go to bed yet? Is it time to give the girls a kiss goodnight? I wake up at night and wonder what time it is. How much longer until the alarm clock rings and I have to get ready for work? How much time until I have to get ready for another day of counting time, waiting for it to come and then watching it go by. How much time have I spent wondering what this new day will bring. Will it be easier than yesterday? Will it be harder? Will I get through it at all? During all this time, I've changed, and I'm still changing. I'm learning to appreciate the time that I have, the time that has past, and the time that is yet to come. I've been touched by the amount of time I've wasted and touched by the amount of time I've enjoyed. I've spent way too much time on things I don't understand, and not enough on those things I do. Throughout these past months, Autumn did turn into Winter and Winter will eventually turn into Spring. Time goes on with or without me. I am the one who has to decide how to spend the time I have. And I have decided that I am going to spend the rest of my time living my life as best I can. I am going to stop and enjoy the music that is all around me, if only for a few moments. I am going to stop worrying about things I don't have control over (because He's always in control) and stop counting the seconds that pass.

I am going to live each moment the best way I know how - with Him by my side every step of the way, every second of each day. I am going to cherish each moment with no regrets. He has given us this time to enjoy, to hurt, to laugh, to cry, to fall in and out of love. Time to spend with family and friends. Time to find out who we really are, not who people want us to be. Time to enjoy every moment of every day, the good times and the bad times. No matter how much time changes us, God is always in control and His hand will shield our soul.

Time is but a ticking of the clock. Don't let the tick-tock of the clock decide how you live your life. Stand tall and walk proud knowing that He is with you for all time.

Treasure of Jesus

What can I do? How can I live to show my world the treasure of Jesus? What will it take? What could I give so they can know the treasure He is? If I can sing,let my songs be full of His Glory. If I can speak, let my words be full of His Grace. If I should live or die, let me be found pursuing this prize. The One that alone satisfies the treasure of Jesus. And if I can sing, let my songs be full of His Glory. If I can speak, let all my words be full of His Grace. And if I should live or die, let me be found pursuing this prize. The One that alone satisfies the treasure of Jesus. (Steven Curtis Chapman - "Treasure of Jesus")

What can I do to show the world the treasure of Jesus? What can I give? If I can write, let my words be full of His Love. When I started this journey of writing a message to go with the order of worship, I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't thinking about what I could give. I was thinking "is anyone going to care or even notice my messages?" "What are they going to think when they read this?" "Am I really qualified to write anything that will be meaningful and match the impact of Sunday's message?"

Looking back over these past 5 1/2 years, I found that I have had much to give. I have found that my writings are full of His Love. I have found that you care and that you have noticed. I have found that these touch everyone differently. I have found that when I write, the words aren't just random thoughts in my head, but they come from a deeper part of me. From my heart and from my soul. I have found that these writings have become very personal and hold deep meaning for me. What can I give through my writings? I can give you my passion, my love of people, and my love for Jesus. I hope I give you something to look forward to each week. I hope I give you something to help you along your own journey. I hope I give you words full of His Love.

What can you give?

Time that's left

What will you do with the time that's left? Will you live it all with no regret? Will they say that you loved till your final breath? What will you do with the time that's left? Oh, Hallelujah! Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen. What will you do with the time that's past? Oh and all the pain that seems to last? Can you give it to Jesus and not look back? What will you do with the time that's past? Oh, Hallelujah! Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen. What will He say when your time has come? When He takes you into His arms of love? With tears in His eyes will He say well done? What will He say when your time has come? Oh, Hallelujah! Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! (Lord be present in all my ways, help me follow You all my days oh Father God.) Amen. What will you do with the time that's left? Will you live it all with no regret? Will they say that you loved till your final breath? What will you do with the time? (Mark Schultz - Time That's Left)

So often I find solace in the words of songs when my life is in disarray. It seems that the right song comes on the radio, or the cd, just when I need it and the message is directed right at me and the time and place I'm at in my life. As this is the first weekend of the New Year, the song above by Mark Schultz seemed very appropriate to the time of the year and to where I am in my life right now... "What will you do with the time that's left?" I don't know what I'm going to do with the time that's left. I don't know how much time I have. No one does. I don't really think about the "time" I have left. Right now, I'm thinking about how to get through the next minute, the next hour. I'm thinking about how to get through this day and into the next one without totally having a meltdown. Right now, I'm taking each minute as it comes and just getting through it. Life is hard. "Will you live it all with no regret?" I have SO SO many regrets. Some bigger than others. Some things I don't regret, but wish that the outcome would have been different. How can one live with no regret? How can you possibly know when you do something what the outcome will be every time. Life is unexpected, and it does unexpected things. I guess the only way to live life with no regret is to take it for all it's worth and live every minute of it with all the ups and downs that those minutes bring. "Will they say that you loved till your final breath?" I hope that's the first thing people say after I've breathed my last breath - that I loved. I loved with every fiber of my being and I spread that love to those around me even when my own heart was breaking. It's not easy to give love when all you want to do is receive it. But sometimes, it's just not your time to be on the receiving end, and when giving, aren't you also receiving? "What will you do with the time that's past? And all the pain that seems to last?" I don't know what I'm doing with the time that's past. Dwelling on it a lot. Regretting some, relishing more, never forgetting anything. The pain is ever-present, some pains are fresher than others, but they all hurt just the same. I'm storing those pains deep down in my heart, so I'll never forget where I've been, but knowing that I can always go forward... "Can you give it to Jesus and not look back?" I've given a lot of my pain to Jesus, but I've found that it comes back. Maybe I haven't been fully truthful with myself when giving my pain to Jesus because somehow I feel that I need to hold on to it so I don't forget what it feels like to hurt. Maybe I don't want to give it fully to Jesus because he has been through so much pain for me. I don't know. I often wonder if holding onto the pain isn't a way of using it as a protective shield against the other pains that come in my life? I give pain to Jesus, for a time, but I always look back. Some pains are harder to let go of than others. "When He takes you into His arms of love? With tears in His eyes will He say well done?" I know that when my time has come, His arms will be wide open and I will run as fast as I can into them, and we will both have tears in our eyes. Well done. Well done.

I know that my life to this point hasn't been lived without regrets, that it has been lived with love. I know that the time that's past has shaped me into the person I am and that the time to come will help shape me into the person I have yet to be. I know that the pain that lasts is with me for a reason, to help me find my way, whatever it is and that when I'm ready, I will give it to Jesus and not look back. Will I sing Hallelujah and Amen? Yes, but not always with joy, but as a prayer of thanksgiving that I have been given a life full of opportunities to feel pain, to give and to receive love, to have regrets. I will sing Hallelujah and Amen because I have been given a life full of the promise that when my time is up, I know that His arms will be wide open to receive me and that all the pain I have endured will be nothing like the love He has given me every minute of every day.
What will you do with the time that's left?

Patience

Patience only comes when you spend your time just waiting. You're the only one that's worth the wait I think your great. And writing melodies sometimes seems to ease all the stuff that's built up inside. Patience is what comes when you spend your time just waiting listening for the phone, hoping that I'll get a call. Maybe from some friends wondering how I've been. Wondering if we all could hang out. Bring back the good times. I think that that would be just fine. Bring back the good times. Patience won't you come, oh I feel like life's suspended. I have not become the thing that I have so intended. Put my mind at ease, and I'll write melodies. And I'll sing songs of hope that's to come. So bring back the good times. I think that that would be just fine. Bring back the good times. I won't embrace the things that I have done. Patience waits for what we will become. Oh it's so much more I know, that it's so worth waiting for. (Bleach)

PATIENCE. I'm learning about it. I'm learning to live with it. I'm learning that I don't like it all that much. It hurts. It's hard. It's a lesson about time. It's a lesson that I've been taught all my life, but still haven't learned. PATIENCE. Sometimes, I feel like my life is spinning totally out of control and I have no patience. Right now is one of those times. I'm learning patience the hard way, by having to live with it on a daily basis. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day. I have to be PATIENT. It's one of the hardest things I've done - ever. I am learning to keep my mouth shut, my tears in check. I am learning when to let it go, and when to hold it all in. I'm not a star pupil. I still open my mouth when I shouldn't, cry when I shouldn't. Sometimes, I just let it all go and it's totally the wrong time. Sometimes I hold it all in and it's the wrong time. Sometimes, it's never the right time. I'm still learning. I'll get there, eventually. Be patient with me.

In this second week of Advent, as I'm praying for patience, I've been praying for something I don't know if I'll get answered the way I'm praying for. (Been there? Done that?) I'm praying for something that is totally out of my hands. Life is like that. We pray and we pray and we pray for something, and we don't know whether or not our prayer will be answered in the way we hoped for, prayed for. It's not that our prayers won't be answered, it's just when and how that we don't know. I've added a link to my blog (http://tiffanysttime.blogspot.com) - "Pray 7x7". You are supposed to pray 7 times a day for 7 different events, for 7 days. I've been praying at least 7 times a day for 7 days, but I've only been praying for 2 or 3 things. Today is as good a time as any to start praying for 7 things, 7 times, for 7 days. I'll let you know the results in next week's write-up. In the meantime, if you want to join me in praying 7x7, please do. If you'd like to share, I'd love to hear how your prayers were answered after 7 days.

Prayer, patience. Worth doing, worth waiting for.

Bless the Broken Road

I set out on the narrow way many years ago, hoping I would find true love along the broken road. I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow, kept pushing through. I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you. Every long lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were just Northern stars pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. I think about the years I spent just passing through. I'd like to find the time I lost and give it back to you. You just smile and take my hand, you've been there, you understand. It's all part of a greater plan that is coming true. Every long lost dream led me to where you are. Others who broke my heart, they were just Northern stars pointing me on my way into your loving arms. This much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. Now I'm just running home into your loving arms. This much I know, I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.

As I read the lyrics to this song, I think about 2 things. First, my love affair with Jesus. Second, my love affair with my husband. As a child growing up, I was told that Jesus should be the first man in my life. How he could keep me safe along the broken roads of my life. When I got lost, he would push me through. His arms would always be open whenever I needed Him. As a little girl growing up, I dreamed of the man I would marry. How he could keep me safe along the broken roads of my life. When I got lost, he would walk beside me. His arms would always be open whenever I needed him. Throughout my life, one thing has remained constant - and that is the love of Jesus Christ. No matter how far I've strayed from the path, or how broken the road, He was always there waiting for me. I've been lost and I've been found. I haven't always had my husband to walk with me, nor will I forever. But Jesus has been with me since the beginning. He has walked with me and continues to walk with me along life's broken roads. When my life has been at its hardest, Jesus has been the one I've walked with, held hands with. When my heart has been broken, Jesus has been the one I've turned to for healing, for comfort. And although I will never fully understand why life does what it does, I will always love Jesus as the first man in my life. His love is constant and steadfast, unlike any other.

When the road is broken, and you just don't think you can take one more step - keep going. Jesus will smile and take your hand. For no one knows how far the breaks in the road go, but him. He walked down the most broken road of all, and loved us every step of the way...

May your broken road be a blessing... that leads you straight into Jesus' arms.

I Can Only Imagine

I can only imagine what it will be like when I walk by your side. I can only imagine what my eyes will see when your face is before me. I can only imagine. Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for You Jesus or in awe of You be still? Will I stand in Your presence or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all? I can only imagine. I can only imagine when that day comes, and I find myself standing in the Son. I can only imagine when all I will do, is
forever, forever worship You. I can only imagine. (I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me)

I can only wait. I can only wait for my time to come when I will walk by Jesus' side. I'm not ready to go just yet, though. There are still SO MANY THINGS for me left to do. My time on the earth is not yet complete. My God-given mission has not been found or determined - YET. At least, I don't think it has??? As for those that are walking with the Lord tonight, tomorrow, and all the days thereafter, what a joy, honor and privilege to be where they are right now. My grammie is there, as well as my other grandmother and both grandfathers. I was blessed in my life to have known, loved and been loved by all 4 of my grandparents. My grammie, though, will always hold the most special place in my heart. I remember when I was old enough, I used to spend the weekend with her at the "High Rise". We would go out to eat and then shopping with her friends, and play bingo or cards in the evenings. She taught me how to crochet and knit, and how to do plastic canvas... that woman could craft ANYTHING! (She made me Campbell Soup kid dolls, Raggedy Ann & Andy dolls, and some you wouldn't believe... Mom, remember Uglina? the nylon doll with the curly hair? - I have them all!) As for me, I just started learning to knit again a few years ago (thank You Don for buying me the book), but I haven't been able to keep up with it. Up until the Prayer Shawl Ministry started, I wasn't ready to give up the couple milk crates of yarn I had been holding onto for the past 10 years. The yarn was my grammie's and I loved it all, and the memories it evoked.

It's hard to let go of those who have left us behind and the things they left behind for us. I kept boxes and boxes of my Grammie's craft things because I wasn't ready to part with them just yet. I would sit down and just go through them remembering all the fun we used to have doing one craft or another. Or just remembering being in her apartment and the menial things we used to do - like cleaning her room, or winding her old mantel clock. I remember she had this old Contour chair and I spent many a night sleeping on it, much to her dismay! How she would make me lumpy mashed potatoes (from scratch, of course) with lots and lots of butter. And that woman could make a mean chocolate fudge! The best I've ever had. On this All Saints Day, take the time to remember the good and the bad times with those you've loved and lost. For some, the loss is so recent. For others, it may be years, but it feels like yesterday... Take the time to imagine how they are walking and talking by Jesus' side. Are they holding hands? Are they laughing out loud? Are they on their knees praying? Are they singing Hallelujah at the tops of their lungs? I can only imagine...

The Measure of A Man

This world can analyze and size you up, and throw you on the scales. They can IQ you and run you through their rigorous details. They can do their best to rate you, and they'll place you on their charts. And then back it up with scientific smarts. Bur there's more to what your worth, than what their human eyes can see. Oh I say the measure of a man is not how tall you stand, how wealthy or intelligent you are. Cause I found out the measure of a man God knows and understands. For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart and what's in the heart defines he measure of a man. Well you can doubt your worth and search for who you are and where you stand, but God made you in His image when He formed you in his hands. And He looks at you with mercy and He sees you through His love. You're His child and that will always be enough for there's more to what you're worth than you could ever comprehend. You can spend your life pursuing physical perfection. There is so much more, more than ever meets the eye. For God looks through the surface and He defines your worth by, what is on the inside. ("The Measure of A Man" by 4Him)

I attended a Memorial Service yesterday for a man I had never met. I went to support my friends in their time of grief and loss. I didn't expect to cry, to laugh, or to feel as if I had lost someone as well, but I did. As I listened to the stories of this man as related by his sister-in-law, the shared times of his brother, son, daughter, and granddaughter, I caught a very small glimpse of what this man was like. I was moved to tears by the accounts of this man who was now spending eternity with Jesus. As I listened to the brief account of this man's life, there was no mention of what kind of house he lived in, what kind of car he drove or how much money he made. Those weren't the important things that he should have been remembered by, nor were they. He was remembered as a loving husband, father, uncle and grandfather. He was remembered as a man who loved the outdoors - to fish and to hunt. He was remembered as the big brother that took his younger brother to see Air Force One hidden underneath blankets in the back of a truck. He was remembered as the grandfather that attended the Military Ball and surprised his granddaughter. He was remembered by the man he WAS on the inside, NOT the things he had on the outside.

As we go through life, it's important to remember that how we respond and relate to other people is so much more important than the material things we possess or don't possess. When we go to heaven, our personal possessions don't come with us. They are left behind for other people to handle, dispose of, etc. Rather, it's what's in our heart and soul that presents itself to God the Father. He knows every day of our living life who we are and what we are. He knows what's in our hearts and our souls. He can see beyond the makeup, the fancy clothes, the expensive car, and the big house. He can see beyond the empty refrigerator, the torn clothing, the non-existent bank account. He knows whether or not we love Him, whether or not we are angry with Him, whether or not we are telling the truth. He knows it all. What do the people around us know? Do they know how we feel about God? about them? about others? Does the way we live our life show people that we are more than just what's on the outside? Do we live our life the way that God sees us - with mercy and love?

We are the Body

It's crowded in worship today. As she slips in trying to fade into the faces. The girl's teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know. Farther than they know. But if we are the body, why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body, why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way? There is a way. A traveler is far away from home. He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row. The weight of their judgmental glances tells him that his chances are better out on the road. But if we are the body, why aren't His arms reaching? Why aren't His hands healing? Why aren't His words teaching? And if we are the body, why aren't His feet going? Why is His love not showing them there is a way? There is a way.Jesus payed much too high a price for us to pick and choose who should come. And we are the body of Christ. Jesus is the way. (We Are The Body - Casting Crowns)

Jesus - Alive and in Persons. If you haven't driven by the church this week, that's the message posted on the display out front. I wonder if Dan knew when he chose that saying that the message this week was going to be - "We are the church; the body of Christ; the church's one foundation." I wonder if he knew how many things were going on at the church this weekend that are a direct reflection of that statement: Jesus - Alive and in Persons. I wonder if he knew that we all need that reminder every now and then?

Did you know that this weekend is the 3rd & 4th grade Bible sleepover. Thank you Mel & Jill for spending your Friday evening and Saturday morning with our children. You are a blessing and we Thank God for you. Did you know that the Friendship Team will be making soup Saturday morning beginning @ 8 a.m. to deliver to the friends they have been spending time with? Thank you Friendship Team for your wonderful gift of ministry to those who are unable to spend regular Saturday or Sunday worship time with us, their brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank God for you. Did you know that the Pig Roast is tomorrow evening? Have you bought your tickets? You can buy them at the door if you haven't! Thank you to all the people that have or will have baked pies, made cookies, cakes, cooked anything, sold tickets, made posters, etc. for the Pig Roast. Did you know that there are several women spending a weekend in fellowship at Olmsted Manor this weekend, sharing stories, laughter, and maybe even some tears together? Thank you to the women who are participating and the families that have shared their wives, sisters, mothers, daughters with other wives, sisters, mothers and daughters for a special weekend. Thank God for you. Did you know that Youth Group meets on Sunday evenings? Thank you Cherie for your gift of service to our youth. What an inspiration you are!

I know there are many other things going on this weekend that I don't know about, or forgot to mention. What's important is the message we're sending as a church, as Christians: Jesus - Alive and in Persons. We are the Church. We are the Body. We are the Church's Foundation. May our arms reach out to others in need, in love, in fellowship. May our hands reach out with compassion, with friendship, and with healing. May our words be spoken loud and clear to teach, to console, to express concern and caring. May our feet always move in the direction that Jesus is taking us - even if we don't feel like it's the right way. May our love show everyone that there is a way because WE ARE THE BODY and JESUS IS ALIVE IN EACH OF US.

Today is a NEW DAY!

Have you ever doubted what you're made of? Have you ever fed your fear? Have you ever seemed disconnected? Has your laughter ever turned to tears? It's alright, it's alright. You're not the only one. Have you ever made a silly faux pas? Or kissed another dream goodbye? Have you ever found out when time ran out, You needed one more try? Oh yeah, it's OK, God brings in a brand new day. Another chance, another choice. Another hope, another possibility. All right, OK, no more time for yesterday. Open your eyes and you'll find, it's a new day, it's a brand new day. So wake up, wake up from your bad dream. Ooo, you gotta clear your head. There is opportunity knocking when you're hanging by a thread. It's alright, a new sun's gonna rise! Oh yeah, come on! No more fear, it's a new day. No more worry, it's a new day. No more doubt, it's a new day. Just believe it, it's a new day! It doesn't matter where your life has been. Just trust in Him. And let a new day begin, come on! Alright, OK. Don't you worry bout yesterday. It doesn't matter what you've done wrong. It's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. Everything's gonna be alright. Another chance, another try. Open your eyes cause the sun is about to shine. Open your eyes and you'll find... it's a new day, it's a new day. It's a new day, come on, come on. It's a new day, it's a new day. It's a new day, come on, come on. It's a new day, come on! (Joy Williams "New Day")

I really HATE going to bed at night. Sometimes, I'll stay up late just so I can do that extra load of laundry, or wash the dishes, or check my e-mail, or try and do one of the other 101 things I didn't get done that day. Sometimes, I'll just stay up and BE. Just do nothing. Sit on a chair and veg in front of the TV. But, when I really start to think about it, I know that after I go to bed, and when I wake up, I will have a whole NEW DAY ahead of me. A day full of time to do the things done I didn't get to yesterday. Who besides me really cares if I don't finish that load of laundry? Who besides me cares if I the dishes sit for one night? Who besides me cares if I don't check my e-mail every 10 minutes! No one! My family cares that I am spending time with them much rather than running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get things done. (I'm known to do that.) I know that each day is a NEW DAY. Each day is a BRAND NEW DAY full of exciting opportunities! A day full of new things - the changing colors on the trees, the birth of a baby bird, the new bud on a flower, the fresh smell of rain on the grass... And I can't spend every day worrying about the "what if's"? What if the laundry basket gets full? What if the dishes pile up? What if I don't get the vacuuming done? What if? What if? What if? Today, like every day, is a NEW DAY and I intend on starting each one with a clean slate.

Every day, no matter what you didn't get done yesterday, that was yesterday and what's done is done, and that's OK. Every day no matter what you feel on the inside, God loves you. Every day, no matter what you see on the outside, the sun does rise. Every day, no matter what problems you carry with you, God is walking beside you on your journey. Every day is a NEW DAY and you can do anything!

Today and every day is a NEW DAY. How are you going to celebrate TODAY?