Thursday, August 2, 2007

What does your label say?

Do you know what's so great about those nutrition LABELS they put on foods? You know everything about what you're going to eat or drink, even if you've never tried it before! The LABEL tells you how healthy the item is, or how unhealthy the item is. The LABEL tells you how many servings are in the package, and how many calories you're going to consume. How many fat grams, and trans fats, and saturated fats you'll be ingesting. A LABEL gives you these scientific ingredients that half the people can't even pronounce! What are red dye # 7 and yellow dye # 4 anyway? And can you really believe that they put ACID in your food? Honestly!!
Isn't it a shame people don't come with LABELS? That would take all the guesswork out of knowing who you want to get-to-know better. Who wants to have an actual conversation with someone when they could just ask to see their LABELS? We could all carry around an ID card in our wallets that would have a full description of what's inside us. For example:

TIFFANY A. BOARDMAN -- PERSONAL LABELS
Serving Size - 5' 9" female
Servings per container - 1
Calories - None of your business, but more than enough to go around
Total Fat - Too much!
Age - 33
Eyes - Blue (wears contacts, NOT colored)
Hair - Brown, Medium length
Vitamins Amount/serving Total Fat Amount/serving
Laughter 22% Angry 25%
Unending Smiles 95% Grouchy 45%
Perky 70% Mean spirited 5%
Silly 60% Lack of smiles 5%
Funny 73% Depressed 45%
Good listener 75% Procrastinator 80%
Creative 90%
Employed 100%
Patient 25%
Married 100%
Big Heart 100%
Christian 100%
Mother 100%
Daughter 100%

Would you want to get to know me based on my LABELS alone? Don't worry, I won't have hard feelings. Throughout my life, I've met many people that have only looked at my outer LABELS (as I'm sure you have) and haven't taken the time to find out who I am on the inside. For me, I think it's much more interesting to actually have a conversation with someone, rather than just asking to see their LABELS. Just think of all the people you would miss out on meeting if you only saw them for what they were on the outside...