I hear the voice, it's the voice of the one I love. He's callin' my name. (I hear you calling me Jesus.) I hear the voice, the voice of the one I love. He's calling my name. (Can you hear Him calling?) He's sayin' - "Come up higher, hear the angels sing. Come up higher, my beloved. Come up higher and leave this world behind." You find me to be beautiful. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I found my life. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life. One thing I have desired, this will I seek after, to dwell in Your house forevermore. Now I'm running after the thing that really matters. You've become my joy and song. (You've become my joy and song.) You've become my joy and song. (You've become my joy and song.) You've become my joy and song. Become my joy and song. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life. I am running, running after You. You've become my soul's delight. I am running, running after You. Here with You I find my life... Here with You I find my life... ("Running" Klaus Kuehn)
So often it seems we are running FROM something, not AFTER anything. We run from things we're afraid of. We run from adversity, from temptation, from each other. It's easy to run away. It's not that easy to run to. It seems like all I've done this past year is run. There have been times I feel as if I've been running FOR my life. Do you know how scary that is? How long can I run? How fast do I have to go? When will I reach the finish line? I don't think I have the strength to make it... Those have just been some of the thoughts in my head. The one thing that has kept me running, though, towards something, is the knowledge I carry with me that He is at the end of every run I've ever been on, or ever will be. Now, instead of wondering how long, or how fast, I think, just another step, just another step. Take your time, there's no hurry, He's waiting for You. No matter how long it takes me to get there. He is waiting and HE CAN WAIT. He knows that I'm running after Him and He can't wait until I get there!
When you're running the race of life, don't think about the finish line, think about who's waiting on the other side... And run to Him. For He is calling your name.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
I'll Rise
Out of Your great love, You came down from glory. The Son of God to set me free. And for all my sin You gave yourself on Calvary. You rose so I can live again. And I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life. Though I may walk through the valley of the shadow, I know that You are there with me. And if I lose my way, I know Your hand will guide me. Nothing can take Your love away. And I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life. You're all I need. You are the One who makes my life worth living. Lord, here I am, take all of me. Take all my hopes, take all my dreams that I have held so dearly. Lord, please take it all. And I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me.
As I was sitting in the Good Friday service last night, I gave serious thought to my life up until now. I thought about the things I've done, the people I've met, the choices I've made, and what is yet to come. I thought about Jesus' life, how He lived, how He died, and how those things have affected me. I thought about the times I've turned to Him in prayers of thanksgiving, and in prayers of distress. I thought about the times I've given my life to Him, and how He has changed me. But most importantly, I thought about the sacrifice He made FOR ME and how/what I could do with my life to make his sacrifice worth something. Then I thought of the song above and I knew what I had to do. "I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life." I have to rise above any obstacle because nothing is bigger than His dying on the cross for me. I have to live because His life made mine important. I have to love because no matter how much it hurts sometimes, it's what I do best. He is my life and I need to live my life for and about Him.
This Easter, think about how best to live your life for Him. How can you rise against the things that seem insurmountable? How can you live in a way that honors the one who died for you? How can you love those that don't want to love you in return? Like Jesus. With grace, strength of character, compassion, unconditional love and prayer.
This Easter, rise and choose to live, for He is risen indeed!
As I was sitting in the Good Friday service last night, I gave serious thought to my life up until now. I thought about the things I've done, the people I've met, the choices I've made, and what is yet to come. I thought about Jesus' life, how He lived, how He died, and how those things have affected me. I thought about the times I've turned to Him in prayers of thanksgiving, and in prayers of distress. I thought about the times I've given my life to Him, and how He has changed me. But most importantly, I thought about the sacrifice He made FOR ME and how/what I could do with my life to make his sacrifice worth something. Then I thought of the song above and I knew what I had to do. "I'll rise because You rose. And I'll live because You died for me. I'll love because You first loved me. O Lord, You are my life. O Lord, You are my life." I have to rise above any obstacle because nothing is bigger than His dying on the cross for me. I have to live because His life made mine important. I have to love because no matter how much it hurts sometimes, it's what I do best. He is my life and I need to live my life for and about Him.
This Easter, think about how best to live your life for Him. How can you rise against the things that seem insurmountable? How can you live in a way that honors the one who died for you? How can you love those that don't want to love you in return? Like Jesus. With grace, strength of character, compassion, unconditional love and prayer.
This Easter, rise and choose to live, for He is risen indeed!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
I will walk by faith...
Would I believe you when you would say Your hand will guide my every way. Will I receive the words You say every moment of every day. Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see it. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Help me to win my endless fears. You've been so faithful for all my years. With the one breath You make me. Your grace covers all I do. Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see it. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Well I'm broken - but I still see Your face. Well You've spoken - pouring Your words of grace. Well I will walk by faith even when I cannot see. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Well I will walk by faith, even when I cannot see it. Well because this broken road prepares Your will for me. Well hallelujah, hallelu. Well hallelujah, hallelu. (I will walk by faith). I will walk, I will walk, I will walk by faith. I will, I will, I will walk by faith. (Jeremy Camp - "Walk By Faith")"
I will walk by Faith." I wonder if that's what Jesus thought that day riding into Jerusalem on his donkey? Did He truly believe that God's hand would guide him every way and in everything He did? Did He already know what lay before him in the days ahead, or did each day bring something new? As we go through each day, how much do we truly walk by faith? How much do we give up to God above, our Maker and Creator? How much of what we say we've given over to Him have we truly let go of, and let God? I bet not nearly as much as we think... I have tried "walking by faith" this Lenten season. If you recall, several weeks ago, I decided that this Lent, I was going to give myself up to Jesus and be made whole again. I wanted to find out who I was and who I was meant to be before life got in the way with all its trials and tribulations. I decided to give up all the doubts and insecurities in my life and rely fully on God to get me through whatever life could throw in my way. I wanted to walk by faith. Well, I haven't. Not entirely. I'm not ready yet. But, I have made great strides. Each day before I get out of bed, I say a prayer - a prayer of thanksgiving for the day to come, a prayer of thanksgiving for the days that have past, and a prayer for peace and strength to get me through today. Each night before I go to bed, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for getting me through the day, a prayer of thanksgiving for the people in my life, and a prayer for peace and strength to get me through tomorrow. I am trying to walk by faith each and every day. He hasn't failed me yet, even though there are times where I've wondered where He is.
Like this one - this past Wednesday, we had to put down our beloved dog, Ammo. She had been w/us for nearly 13 years (her 13th birthday was today, April 4th). It was completely unexpected. She had been sick for a few years, and had definitely outlasted her prognosis. But, still, when the time came, it wasn't the easiest thing we've ever had to do. To be honest, it was absolutely, completely HORRIBLE! I haven't cried that hard or that much in a long time and I don't want to do it again anytime soon. That night, after it was over, I called my Mom and I told her I was so angry with God. I couldn't believe He had taken her from us and I truly didn't understand why or how He could throw something else at us like losing Ammo on top of everything else. I hadn't given up, but I was tired of fighting for what I believed in, and wondered how broad He thought my shoulders were? There's only so much one person can take and I felt like I had definitely reached my limit! The next day, my mom called during her Bible Study and said she had a scripture for me that came up after she had asked for prayers for our family. I found out later the scripture was Matthew 11: 28-30. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God had heard my cries for help! He knew that I was broken and battered and just wanted to give in and give up! When I was at my lowest, He found a way to remind me that nothing is too much for Him. I will continue to walk by faith, because this broken road does prepare His will for me.
Keep walking, no matter how long or how broken the road is. Keep the faith, for He will never give up on you.
I will walk by Faith." I wonder if that's what Jesus thought that day riding into Jerusalem on his donkey? Did He truly believe that God's hand would guide him every way and in everything He did? Did He already know what lay before him in the days ahead, or did each day bring something new? As we go through each day, how much do we truly walk by faith? How much do we give up to God above, our Maker and Creator? How much of what we say we've given over to Him have we truly let go of, and let God? I bet not nearly as much as we think... I have tried "walking by faith" this Lenten season. If you recall, several weeks ago, I decided that this Lent, I was going to give myself up to Jesus and be made whole again. I wanted to find out who I was and who I was meant to be before life got in the way with all its trials and tribulations. I decided to give up all the doubts and insecurities in my life and rely fully on God to get me through whatever life could throw in my way. I wanted to walk by faith. Well, I haven't. Not entirely. I'm not ready yet. But, I have made great strides. Each day before I get out of bed, I say a prayer - a prayer of thanksgiving for the day to come, a prayer of thanksgiving for the days that have past, and a prayer for peace and strength to get me through today. Each night before I go to bed, I say a prayer of thanksgiving for getting me through the day, a prayer of thanksgiving for the people in my life, and a prayer for peace and strength to get me through tomorrow. I am trying to walk by faith each and every day. He hasn't failed me yet, even though there are times where I've wondered where He is.
Like this one - this past Wednesday, we had to put down our beloved dog, Ammo. She had been w/us for nearly 13 years (her 13th birthday was today, April 4th). It was completely unexpected. She had been sick for a few years, and had definitely outlasted her prognosis. But, still, when the time came, it wasn't the easiest thing we've ever had to do. To be honest, it was absolutely, completely HORRIBLE! I haven't cried that hard or that much in a long time and I don't want to do it again anytime soon. That night, after it was over, I called my Mom and I told her I was so angry with God. I couldn't believe He had taken her from us and I truly didn't understand why or how He could throw something else at us like losing Ammo on top of everything else. I hadn't given up, but I was tired of fighting for what I believed in, and wondered how broad He thought my shoulders were? There's only so much one person can take and I felt like I had definitely reached my limit! The next day, my mom called during her Bible Study and said she had a scripture for me that came up after she had asked for prayers for our family. I found out later the scripture was Matthew 11: 28-30. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God had heard my cries for help! He knew that I was broken and battered and just wanted to give in and give up! When I was at my lowest, He found a way to remind me that nothing is too much for Him. I will continue to walk by faith, because this broken road does prepare His will for me.
Keep walking, no matter how long or how broken the road is. Keep the faith, for He will never give up on you.
Friday, March 6, 2009
The bar is so high
It's a fear that keeps me wide awake in the middle of the night. When the expectations are too great and the bar gets raised too high. So I do the best with what I've gotand hope that no one knows that I strain to see how high I can. Try to stand on these toes until I'm measured, but You know better. So, thank You, Jesus. Even when You see us just as we are, fragile and frail and so far from who we want to be. So, thank You, Jesus. Even when the pieces are broken and small. Dreams shatter and scatter like the wind. Thank You, even then. So I put aside the masquerade and admit that I am not okay which may not be the thing to say but I'm not ashamed to need You more each day. We raise the standard and try to reach You but we'll never make it, and we don't need to. (Nichole Nordeman - "Even Then")
When I was growing up, I used to go to roller skating every weekend. I went so much, my parents bought me my own skates. I loved those skates! They were white with hot pink wheels & hot pink toe stops. (I had those skates up until just a few years ago when I sold them at a yard sale.) Those skates gave me great memories - especially doing the limbo! I could get pretty low, but never as low as some of the kids that grew up on skates and were 4 and 5 years old. There were some kids that could do full splits underneath that limbo bar, mostly boys! At that time, I judged myself on how well I did based on how LOW the bar was before I fell. I was younger then and a lot more flexible than I am now. Today, I judge myself on how HIGH the bar is before I fail. I have my own expectations of how I should rate as a daughter, mother, wife and friend. As of today, I have never met those expectations, nor will I. I've set my bar too high, but I won't/can't lower it. So, in the meantime, I keep trying and I keep failing. I have expectations of how I should perform in my job, and my boss and co-workers have their expectations. My boss expects me to know every little thing that goes wrong with his computer and how to fix it. I can fix a lot, but I'm not a computer expert. I'm expected to multi-task 15 different things at once and keep them all straight and get them done at the same time. I do well enough, but my bar has been set so high that sometimes it's impossible to meet.
So what happens when I realize that no matter how hard I try, no matter how tall I stretch on my tiptoes, I'll never be quite high enough? That I'll never be good enough to reach that bar? What happens then? What happens when I fail? What happens when I'm broken and shattered and there's nothing left? That's when Jesus comes in. That's when I get down on my knees and pray for His mercy. And that's when He reaches out and wraps His arms around me and I know that no matter how high MY bar is, His will never be too high for me.
How high is your bar?
When I was growing up, I used to go to roller skating every weekend. I went so much, my parents bought me my own skates. I loved those skates! They were white with hot pink wheels & hot pink toe stops. (I had those skates up until just a few years ago when I sold them at a yard sale.) Those skates gave me great memories - especially doing the limbo! I could get pretty low, but never as low as some of the kids that grew up on skates and were 4 and 5 years old. There were some kids that could do full splits underneath that limbo bar, mostly boys! At that time, I judged myself on how well I did based on how LOW the bar was before I fell. I was younger then and a lot more flexible than I am now. Today, I judge myself on how HIGH the bar is before I fail. I have my own expectations of how I should rate as a daughter, mother, wife and friend. As of today, I have never met those expectations, nor will I. I've set my bar too high, but I won't/can't lower it. So, in the meantime, I keep trying and I keep failing. I have expectations of how I should perform in my job, and my boss and co-workers have their expectations. My boss expects me to know every little thing that goes wrong with his computer and how to fix it. I can fix a lot, but I'm not a computer expert. I'm expected to multi-task 15 different things at once and keep them all straight and get them done at the same time. I do well enough, but my bar has been set so high that sometimes it's impossible to meet.
So what happens when I realize that no matter how hard I try, no matter how tall I stretch on my tiptoes, I'll never be quite high enough? That I'll never be good enough to reach that bar? What happens then? What happens when I fail? What happens when I'm broken and shattered and there's nothing left? That's when Jesus comes in. That's when I get down on my knees and pray for His mercy. And that's when He reaches out and wraps His arms around me and I know that no matter how high MY bar is, His will never be too high for me.
How high is your bar?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Make Me Over
I've been silent instead of speaking up. Gave my advice instead of giving love. I have been unfair, faithless and unkind. I have shut my eyes just so I would stay blind. It's not what I meant to do, cause I wanna honor you. Make me over, make me new. Make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart. Take me to your heart and pull me closer. Oh, Jesus, make me over. Take away the pride that whispers in the dark. Take the stone out of the middle of my heart. Hidden underneath my insecurities is the servant that you've destined me to be. But day after precious day I get in my own way. Make me over, make me new. Make me a mirror, a reflection of you. Take me all apart. Take me to your heart and pull me closer. Sweet savior, make me over. I am only made of your imagining. I'm dust and clay on the wind. Wash me in the river of your sacrifice until I'm changed, purified. Take me all apart. Take me to your heart and pull me closer. My Jesus, make me over. Make me over. (Natalie Grant - "Make Me Over")
This Lent, I have decided to give up myself to Jesus and to be made whole again. To find out who I am and who I was meant to be before life got in the way with all its trials and tribulations. I have decided to give up all the doubts and insecurities in my life and rely fully on God to get me through whatever life can throw in my way. I have also decided to make my body over - inside and out. I had gotten away from working out because I just wasn't seeing the results I wanted in the time I wanted. Well, I'm back at it and I'm feeling great! I'm still worried about the results on the outside, but I'm trying to focus on the feelings inside first. Each day, when I work out, I repeat to myself - "You can do it. You are strong. Lean machine!" My goal is to be a "lean machine" when I turn 35 in April. My other goal is to have freed myself from the things inside of me that are trying to break me down. Each day when I get up, I have a choice - to get through the day with grace and compassion, or to be a victim and let my feelings bring me down. I have good days and bad days. I don't always make the right choice, and even when I do, there are outside forces at work that come in and destroy my good intentions. The best thing I've found through that is is that Jesus has my back. When I'm having a really bad day, someone sends me an e-mail, or gives me a call to let me know they're thinking about me. How cool is that!?! He is with me (and you) all the time! He has shown himself to me so much in these past months, I couldn't even begin to tell you. He is continually working to make me over and I can't wait to see the end result! I hope you'll join me in this 40-day journey and ask Him to make you over as well for whatever it is in your heart that is bringing you down.
Dear God, I give myself to You each and every day. Make me over, make me new. I give You my life and in Your hands I know that I am and forever will be Yours. In the darkest of times, You are with me. In the brightest of times, you are with me. You are my light and my salvation and I honor You with all that I have and all that I am inside. Give me peace, give me strength. Give me the courage to get through each day with You by my side and to do it in the best way I can. You alone know who I truly am and who I was meant to be. Help me to be that person each and every day no matter what life throws at me. I love you and I give myself to you. In Jesus' name, Amen.
This Lent, I have decided to give up myself to Jesus and to be made whole again. To find out who I am and who I was meant to be before life got in the way with all its trials and tribulations. I have decided to give up all the doubts and insecurities in my life and rely fully on God to get me through whatever life can throw in my way. I have also decided to make my body over - inside and out. I had gotten away from working out because I just wasn't seeing the results I wanted in the time I wanted. Well, I'm back at it and I'm feeling great! I'm still worried about the results on the outside, but I'm trying to focus on the feelings inside first. Each day, when I work out, I repeat to myself - "You can do it. You are strong. Lean machine!" My goal is to be a "lean machine" when I turn 35 in April. My other goal is to have freed myself from the things inside of me that are trying to break me down. Each day when I get up, I have a choice - to get through the day with grace and compassion, or to be a victim and let my feelings bring me down. I have good days and bad days. I don't always make the right choice, and even when I do, there are outside forces at work that come in and destroy my good intentions. The best thing I've found through that is is that Jesus has my back. When I'm having a really bad day, someone sends me an e-mail, or gives me a call to let me know they're thinking about me. How cool is that!?! He is with me (and you) all the time! He has shown himself to me so much in these past months, I couldn't even begin to tell you. He is continually working to make me over and I can't wait to see the end result! I hope you'll join me in this 40-day journey and ask Him to make you over as well for whatever it is in your heart that is bringing you down.
Dear God, I give myself to You each and every day. Make me over, make me new. I give You my life and in Your hands I know that I am and forever will be Yours. In the darkest of times, You are with me. In the brightest of times, you are with me. You are my light and my salvation and I honor You with all that I have and all that I am inside. Give me peace, give me strength. Give me the courage to get through each day with You by my side and to do it in the best way I can. You alone know who I truly am and who I was meant to be. Help me to be that person each and every day no matter what life throws at me. I love you and I give myself to you. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Come to my Rescue
Lord You know everything I've done. Every thought I've had, You know every one. And Lord You know every time I fall. Still You come to my rescue when I call. Lord You hear every idle word. Every thoughtless deed, how it seems absurd. That Lord You give, not what I am due, but mercy; You come to my rescue.You come to my rescue, rescue. Lord You care and You've become my friend. Amazing love whose boundaries have no end. And Lord You show what a greater love can do, by being there for my rescue. And Lord I give all I can give (all my heart). All of my heart as long as I shall live. So Lord, oh Lord, I just want to thank You, for coming, coming to my rescue. You come to my rescue, rescue. It's hard to tell You just how grateful I am, but I'm still gonna make it show; with every breath gonna let You know. I am accepting though I can't comprehend, how I could be worth the cost, when I was bound, despised and lost. Lord I give all I can give (all my heart). All of my heart as long as I shall live. So Lord, oh Lord, I just want to thank You (I really want to thank you), for coming, for coming to my rescue. You come to my rescue, rescue. He is always there for me (rescue, rescue). And he'll be right, right there for you (rescue, rescue). Oh Lord I know I don't deserve it (rescue, rescue). But you love me anyhow (rescue, rescue). You come to my rescue (rescue, rescue). Keep on coming to my rescue (rescue, rescue). (ACappella - "Rescue")
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along w/all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been! My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and scarcity, and false accusations that took me from my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to the ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."
Thank you Phyllis for giving me this beautiful story last week in church! When I read it, I started to cry. (What else is new?) And when I found out that this week's service was about "Healing", this story couldn't have been more appropriate or come at a better time (remember God's timing is perfect! Even though we don't always think so...). In life, we are given many opportunities, and many challenges. How we handle them doesn't define us. Who we ask for help to get us through, heals us.
May your life be filled with holes... and light.
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before the Lord along w/all the other souls. Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life. But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with in every day life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all. I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened. My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air. Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been! My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise. My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and scarcity, and false accusations that took me from my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer, asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to the ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me. And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light. An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes. Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me it became My life, My hardships, and My struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of you."
Thank you Phyllis for giving me this beautiful story last week in church! When I read it, I started to cry. (What else is new?) And when I found out that this week's service was about "Healing", this story couldn't have been more appropriate or come at a better time (remember God's timing is perfect! Even though we don't always think so...). In life, we are given many opportunities, and many challenges. How we handle them doesn't define us. Who we ask for help to get us through, heals us.
May your life be filled with holes... and light.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Timeless
Time, it's changing me. It's hard to see who I am. Touched, I'm touched by many things. So many things I don't understand. But seasons pass and I discover above all this there's another helping me to hold on to what is timeless. So the autumn can color me gold, and the winter can dress me in snow. But it's You I see - the timeless part of me. In the springtime I'm young once again. In the summer I dance on the wind. But it's You I see - the timeless part of me. Change, whether it's good or bad. You know I'm glad You're in control. Oh, Lord, if I don't understand, I know Your hand will shield my soul. Seasons pass and I discover above all this there's another helping me to hold on to what is timeless. ("Timeless" by Selah)
In thinking about what song for this week, I didn't have a clue what song to use. I typed some keywords into Google, but nothing jumped out at me. It wasn't until I was throwing clothes in the laundry that I thought of this song by Selah. Timeless. God's timing is perfect, even if ours isn't. I should know. For several months now, all I've though about is time. I count every second, every minute, every hour until the next day comes. Is it time to go to bed yet? Is it time to give the girls a kiss goodnight? I wake up at night and wonder what time it is. How much longer until the alarm clock rings and I have to get ready for work? How much time until I have to get ready for another day of counting time, waiting for it to come and then watching it go by. How much time have I spent wondering what this new day will bring. Will it be easier than yesterday? Will it be harder? Will I get through it at all? During all this time, I've changed, and I'm still changing. I'm learning to appreciate the time that I have, the time that has past, and the time that is yet to come. I've been touched by the amount of time I've wasted and touched by the amount of time I've enjoyed. I've spent way too much time on things I don't understand, and not enough on those things I do. Throughout these past months, Autumn did turn into Winter and Winter will eventually turn into Spring. Time goes on with or without me. I am the one who has to decide how to spend the time I have. And I have decided that I am going to spend the rest of my time living my life as best I can. I am going to stop and enjoy the music that is all around me, if only for a few moments. I am going to stop worrying about things I don't have control over (because He's always in control) and stop counting the seconds that pass.
I am going to live each moment the best way I know how - with Him by my side every step of the way, every second of each day. I am going to cherish each moment with no regrets. He has given us this time to enjoy, to hurt, to laugh, to cry, to fall in and out of love. Time to spend with family and friends. Time to find out who we really are, not who people want us to be. Time to enjoy every moment of every day, the good times and the bad times. No matter how much time changes us, God is always in control and His hand will shield our soul.
Time is but a ticking of the clock. Don't let the tick-tock of the clock decide how you live your life. Stand tall and walk proud knowing that He is with you for all time.
In thinking about what song for this week, I didn't have a clue what song to use. I typed some keywords into Google, but nothing jumped out at me. It wasn't until I was throwing clothes in the laundry that I thought of this song by Selah. Timeless. God's timing is perfect, even if ours isn't. I should know. For several months now, all I've though about is time. I count every second, every minute, every hour until the next day comes. Is it time to go to bed yet? Is it time to give the girls a kiss goodnight? I wake up at night and wonder what time it is. How much longer until the alarm clock rings and I have to get ready for work? How much time until I have to get ready for another day of counting time, waiting for it to come and then watching it go by. How much time have I spent wondering what this new day will bring. Will it be easier than yesterday? Will it be harder? Will I get through it at all? During all this time, I've changed, and I'm still changing. I'm learning to appreciate the time that I have, the time that has past, and the time that is yet to come. I've been touched by the amount of time I've wasted and touched by the amount of time I've enjoyed. I've spent way too much time on things I don't understand, and not enough on those things I do. Throughout these past months, Autumn did turn into Winter and Winter will eventually turn into Spring. Time goes on with or without me. I am the one who has to decide how to spend the time I have. And I have decided that I am going to spend the rest of my time living my life as best I can. I am going to stop and enjoy the music that is all around me, if only for a few moments. I am going to stop worrying about things I don't have control over (because He's always in control) and stop counting the seconds that pass.
I am going to live each moment the best way I know how - with Him by my side every step of the way, every second of each day. I am going to cherish each moment with no regrets. He has given us this time to enjoy, to hurt, to laugh, to cry, to fall in and out of love. Time to spend with family and friends. Time to find out who we really are, not who people want us to be. Time to enjoy every moment of every day, the good times and the bad times. No matter how much time changes us, God is always in control and His hand will shield our soul.
Time is but a ticking of the clock. Don't let the tick-tock of the clock decide how you live your life. Stand tall and walk proud knowing that He is with you for all time.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Treasure of Jesus
What can I do? How can I live to show my world the treasure of Jesus? What will it take? What could I give so they can know the treasure He is? If I can sing,let my songs be full of His Glory. If I can speak, let my words be full of His Grace. If I should live or die, let me be found pursuing this prize. The One that alone satisfies the treasure of Jesus. And if I can sing, let my songs be full of His Glory. If I can speak, let all my words be full of His Grace. And if I should live or die, let me be found pursuing this prize. The One that alone satisfies the treasure of Jesus. (Steven Curtis Chapman - "Treasure of Jesus")
What can I do to show the world the treasure of Jesus? What can I give? If I can write, let my words be full of His Love. When I started this journey of writing a message to go with the order of worship, I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't thinking about what I could give. I was thinking "is anyone going to care or even notice my messages?" "What are they going to think when they read this?" "Am I really qualified to write anything that will be meaningful and match the impact of Sunday's message?"
Looking back over these past 5 1/2 years, I found that I have had much to give. I have found that my writings are full of His Love. I have found that you care and that you have noticed. I have found that these touch everyone differently. I have found that when I write, the words aren't just random thoughts in my head, but they come from a deeper part of me. From my heart and from my soul. I have found that these writings have become very personal and hold deep meaning for me. What can I give through my writings? I can give you my passion, my love of people, and my love for Jesus. I hope I give you something to look forward to each week. I hope I give you something to help you along your own journey. I hope I give you words full of His Love.
What can you give?
What can I do to show the world the treasure of Jesus? What can I give? If I can write, let my words be full of His Love. When I started this journey of writing a message to go with the order of worship, I didn't know what to expect. I wasn't thinking about what I could give. I was thinking "is anyone going to care or even notice my messages?" "What are they going to think when they read this?" "Am I really qualified to write anything that will be meaningful and match the impact of Sunday's message?"
Looking back over these past 5 1/2 years, I found that I have had much to give. I have found that my writings are full of His Love. I have found that you care and that you have noticed. I have found that these touch everyone differently. I have found that when I write, the words aren't just random thoughts in my head, but they come from a deeper part of me. From my heart and from my soul. I have found that these writings have become very personal and hold deep meaning for me. What can I give through my writings? I can give you my passion, my love of people, and my love for Jesus. I hope I give you something to look forward to each week. I hope I give you something to help you along your own journey. I hope I give you words full of His Love.
What can you give?
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Time that's left
What will you do with the time that's left? Will you live it all with no regret? Will they say that you loved till your final breath? What will you do with the time that's left? Oh, Hallelujah! Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen. What will you do with the time that's past? Oh and all the pain that seems to last? Can you give it to Jesus and not look back? What will you do with the time that's past? Oh, Hallelujah! Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Amen. What will He say when your time has come? When He takes you into His arms of love? With tears in His eyes will He say well done? What will He say when your time has come? Oh, Hallelujah! Oh, Hallelujah! Hallelujah! (Lord be present in all my ways, help me follow You all my days oh Father God.) Amen. What will you do with the time that's left? Will you live it all with no regret? Will they say that you loved till your final breath? What will you do with the time? (Mark Schultz - Time That's Left)
So often I find solace in the words of songs when my life is in disarray. It seems that the right song comes on the radio, or the cd, just when I need it and the message is directed right at me and the time and place I'm at in my life. As this is the first weekend of the New Year, the song above by Mark Schultz seemed very appropriate to the time of the year and to where I am in my life right now... "What will you do with the time that's left?" I don't know what I'm going to do with the time that's left. I don't know how much time I have. No one does. I don't really think about the "time" I have left. Right now, I'm thinking about how to get through the next minute, the next hour. I'm thinking about how to get through this day and into the next one without totally having a meltdown. Right now, I'm taking each minute as it comes and just getting through it. Life is hard. "Will you live it all with no regret?" I have SO SO many regrets. Some bigger than others. Some things I don't regret, but wish that the outcome would have been different. How can one live with no regret? How can you possibly know when you do something what the outcome will be every time. Life is unexpected, and it does unexpected things. I guess the only way to live life with no regret is to take it for all it's worth and live every minute of it with all the ups and downs that those minutes bring. "Will they say that you loved till your final breath?" I hope that's the first thing people say after I've breathed my last breath - that I loved. I loved with every fiber of my being and I spread that love to those around me even when my own heart was breaking. It's not easy to give love when all you want to do is receive it. But sometimes, it's just not your time to be on the receiving end, and when giving, aren't you also receiving? "What will you do with the time that's past? And all the pain that seems to last?" I don't know what I'm doing with the time that's past. Dwelling on it a lot. Regretting some, relishing more, never forgetting anything. The pain is ever-present, some pains are fresher than others, but they all hurt just the same. I'm storing those pains deep down in my heart, so I'll never forget where I've been, but knowing that I can always go forward... "Can you give it to Jesus and not look back?" I've given a lot of my pain to Jesus, but I've found that it comes back. Maybe I haven't been fully truthful with myself when giving my pain to Jesus because somehow I feel that I need to hold on to it so I don't forget what it feels like to hurt. Maybe I don't want to give it fully to Jesus because he has been through so much pain for me. I don't know. I often wonder if holding onto the pain isn't a way of using it as a protective shield against the other pains that come in my life? I give pain to Jesus, for a time, but I always look back. Some pains are harder to let go of than others. "When He takes you into His arms of love? With tears in His eyes will He say well done?" I know that when my time has come, His arms will be wide open and I will run as fast as I can into them, and we will both have tears in our eyes. Well done. Well done.
I know that my life to this point hasn't been lived without regrets, that it has been lived with love. I know that the time that's past has shaped me into the person I am and that the time to come will help shape me into the person I have yet to be. I know that the pain that lasts is with me for a reason, to help me find my way, whatever it is and that when I'm ready, I will give it to Jesus and not look back. Will I sing Hallelujah and Amen? Yes, but not always with joy, but as a prayer of thanksgiving that I have been given a life full of opportunities to feel pain, to give and to receive love, to have regrets. I will sing Hallelujah and Amen because I have been given a life full of the promise that when my time is up, I know that His arms will be wide open to receive me and that all the pain I have endured will be nothing like the love He has given me every minute of every day.
What will you do with the time that's left?
So often I find solace in the words of songs when my life is in disarray. It seems that the right song comes on the radio, or the cd, just when I need it and the message is directed right at me and the time and place I'm at in my life. As this is the first weekend of the New Year, the song above by Mark Schultz seemed very appropriate to the time of the year and to where I am in my life right now... "What will you do with the time that's left?" I don't know what I'm going to do with the time that's left. I don't know how much time I have. No one does. I don't really think about the "time" I have left. Right now, I'm thinking about how to get through the next minute, the next hour. I'm thinking about how to get through this day and into the next one without totally having a meltdown. Right now, I'm taking each minute as it comes and just getting through it. Life is hard. "Will you live it all with no regret?" I have SO SO many regrets. Some bigger than others. Some things I don't regret, but wish that the outcome would have been different. How can one live with no regret? How can you possibly know when you do something what the outcome will be every time. Life is unexpected, and it does unexpected things. I guess the only way to live life with no regret is to take it for all it's worth and live every minute of it with all the ups and downs that those minutes bring. "Will they say that you loved till your final breath?" I hope that's the first thing people say after I've breathed my last breath - that I loved. I loved with every fiber of my being and I spread that love to those around me even when my own heart was breaking. It's not easy to give love when all you want to do is receive it. But sometimes, it's just not your time to be on the receiving end, and when giving, aren't you also receiving? "What will you do with the time that's past? And all the pain that seems to last?" I don't know what I'm doing with the time that's past. Dwelling on it a lot. Regretting some, relishing more, never forgetting anything. The pain is ever-present, some pains are fresher than others, but they all hurt just the same. I'm storing those pains deep down in my heart, so I'll never forget where I've been, but knowing that I can always go forward... "Can you give it to Jesus and not look back?" I've given a lot of my pain to Jesus, but I've found that it comes back. Maybe I haven't been fully truthful with myself when giving my pain to Jesus because somehow I feel that I need to hold on to it so I don't forget what it feels like to hurt. Maybe I don't want to give it fully to Jesus because he has been through so much pain for me. I don't know. I often wonder if holding onto the pain isn't a way of using it as a protective shield against the other pains that come in my life? I give pain to Jesus, for a time, but I always look back. Some pains are harder to let go of than others. "When He takes you into His arms of love? With tears in His eyes will He say well done?" I know that when my time has come, His arms will be wide open and I will run as fast as I can into them, and we will both have tears in our eyes. Well done. Well done.
I know that my life to this point hasn't been lived without regrets, that it has been lived with love. I know that the time that's past has shaped me into the person I am and that the time to come will help shape me into the person I have yet to be. I know that the pain that lasts is with me for a reason, to help me find my way, whatever it is and that when I'm ready, I will give it to Jesus and not look back. Will I sing Hallelujah and Amen? Yes, but not always with joy, but as a prayer of thanksgiving that I have been given a life full of opportunities to feel pain, to give and to receive love, to have regrets. I will sing Hallelujah and Amen because I have been given a life full of the promise that when my time is up, I know that His arms will be wide open to receive me and that all the pain I have endured will be nothing like the love He has given me every minute of every day.
What will you do with the time that's left?
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